Going From One Child to Two


pregnant woman with child

Now that I’m six weeks from my due date, I hold asking myself the identical query again and again…

How are we going to do that?

My husband and I are over the moon, in fact, about including one other candy babe to our household. However the considered feeding him each two hours, weathering postpartum restoration, and working on zero sleep, all whereas additionally caring for our two-year-old is making me nervous. These new child days already felt exhausting after I needed to look after one baby, so how do dad and mom make it work after they’re caring for 2 or extra?

My different fear? Ella has spent her first two years being the middle of our lives. How is she going to really feel — and react — when she now not will get all our consideration? The concept of her being confused, unhappy or feeling forgotten breaks my coronary heart. So, to get some steerage and reassurance, I reached out to 9 moms with a number of children. Right here’s their recommendation…

On bonding with each children:

“Within the foggy early days, you could be tempted to nestle right into a love cocoon along with your new child and ship your older baby out along with your associate, buddy or sitter. However whereas on maternity go away with my second son, I did the other: I left the newborn at dwelling and took my two-year-old to the playground. Simply an hour (or much less!) by ourselves felt so good as a result of not solely did he get my full consideration, nevertheless it helped me really feel higher concerning the finish of our time simply the 2 of us.” — Jennie Tung

“Your coronary heart grows to like your youngsters exponentially. At first, I felt responsible that I didn’t bond sufficient straight away with Anton. I beloved my candy new child — however did I really like him with all my coronary heart and soul, like I beloved Toby? Not but. I had recognized Toby for 3 lovely years and had performed with him and laughed with him and cuddled him on daily basis, and I knew every part about him. With Anton, he was model new. It was like asking in case you’re in madly love with somebody on the primary date. However as he grew, we fell for one another, and now each youngsters are the good joys of my life.” — Joanna Goddard

“One trick that helped lots within the early days: I made a particular Huge Sister Field with stickers, markers, and paper, and some new-to-her small toys. At any time when I used to be busy with the newborn, I might ask my four-year-old if she needed to get out her Huge Sister Field, so she’d have one thing particular to do proper alongside us.” — Virginia Sole-Smith

Hacks for making life extra manageable:

“My buddy launched me to the idea of ‘Websites of Mutual Success’ — locations the place all family members get pleasure from going and everybody’s wants are met. For us, which means the native swimming pool, the place one in all us dad and mom performs with the children whereas the opposite does some meditative laps, after which we change! Or our native nature reserve the place the children can run wild and we get a stroll and recent air.” — Mel Wiggins

“At any time when doable, select ease! If it’s simpler to have the newborn nap within the provider quite than in a sound-proof nursery with black-out curtains when you’re dashing to select up the older sibling from college, do this. And if you end up unable to commit as a lot time to stimulating child actions as you probably did with the primary, let it go — watching their older sibling’s gymnastics class (or no matter it’s) can be a lot stimulating — will probably be completely different, not higher or worse.” — Maggie Pouncey

You-got-this pep talks:

“Two children is multiple child, it’s true, however the most effective half about having a second child is that you simply’ve received all this built-in muscle reminiscence. I’d by no means swaddled a child earlier than my first child was born, by no means used a breast pump, by no means struggled to open a stroller whereas holding an toddler over a concrete sidewalk. While you’re doing all of it for the primary time, parenting may be bodily awkward. The second time round, my physique knew a lot extra of what to do, and the entire expertise was much less of a shock to the system. Change a diaper at midnight? Dealt with. ” — Erin Boyle

“If it feels, at instances, such as you’re ranging from scratch along with your parenting skills, don’t disgrace your self by considering you ‘ought to’ already be good at this since you’ve executed it earlier than. As a result of the reality is, each baby is completely different, so it’s regular to generally really feel like a newbie once more.” — Destini Davis

Feeling the enjoyment:

“The primary yr after my youngest was born was wild as a result of it felt like a balancing act having a two-year-old and an toddler. However when you get out of the ‘child’ stage, the load will get simpler. And it’s a lot enjoyable when each youngsters become old. When the youthful one began speaking to the older one, THOSE have been some humorous conversations. And seeing them crack one another up is simply… past phrases.” — Nicole

“Permit it to be humorous. Everybody round you’ll let you know how exhausting and nerve-racking your life is, like ‘You’re within the thick of it!’ and ‘Wow, you’ve received your palms full!’ Sure, having a number of small children is really troublesome at instances, nevertheless it’s additionally a lot enjoyable through the good components. Now each time I see a mother of multiples out within the wild, I say one thing like, ‘Ahhh, what a dream, they’re beautiful.” — Caroline Chambers

What would you add? This mama is all ears!

P.S. Three phrases to say to your children, 5 suggestions for sibling rivalry, and Joanna talks about going from one child to 2.

(Picture by Padillarigau Mumsonfilm/Stocksy.)


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